EPW ‘Real Wrestler’ POWER RANKINGS: May 2018
EPW ‘REAL WRESTLER’ POWER RANKINGS: May 2018
by Gavin McGavin
NOTE: This is the opinion of Gavin McGavin, and should be listened to. He has been wrestling nine years and knows more about this stuff than you, so just shut up and read it.
- Gavin McGavin (Previously 10)
Davis Storm was number 1 last time. Gavin beat Davis. That makes him better, and the new number 1. It’s obvious if you think about it. Not enough of a reason? Also on a four match winning streak including at PROGRESS X EPW. Also Wrestler of the year. Also shut up! *flips the bird*
- Damian Slater (Previously 3)
Beat Moustache Mountain. Beat both singles champs combined. Wins and losses mean something. They mean everything. He is still just one half of a tag team though, meaning he has to split his success. So sorry, still not back at number 1.
- Marcius Pitt (Previously 4)
Same as Slater, but doesn’t know as many wrestling holds so isn’t as good as his partner. The ‘Mike Massive’ of The Untouchables, if you will.
- Scotty Ryan (Previously 6)
Still the Coastal Champion. Being a singles champ make you top 5 billing. Except if you are the tag champs, coz tags take a back seat to the real wrestlers. The singles wrestlers.
- “The Don” Michael Morleone (Previously 5)
He’s the champ so like I said, top five. I’m not going to hold a tag team loss too heavily against him, but he was the one who got pinned so Scotty goes ahead.
- AZ Vegara (Previously 19)
New number 1 contender for the Coastal Championship, so he is one spot behind the current champ. Pretty simple and easy to follow, yeah?
7. Julian Ward (Previously 8)
Won at PROGRESS X EPW. Beat Tyler Jacobs at Collision Course. Had the balls to call out the new number 1, Gavin McGavin, but not the brains to see the attack coming. This is a good spot for Julian, just on the edge of the top tier, but don’t expect him to climb any higher. He is still just a ‘boy’ after all.
- Chris Vice (Previously 2…somehow)
Does he still work here? Like, has he even had a match in EPW this year? But… he does still have a trophy that can be traded in for a championship match WHENEVER he wants, so I guess he can stay in the top ten.
- The Headhunters – Dan Steel, Jarrad Slate & Twitch (Previously 12)
They talk shit and back it up. Undefeated as a tag team and gunning hard for the gold. They will keep climbing as long as they keep winning.
11. – 20. Who cares?
If you aren’t in the top 10, you don’t matter. Yes I turfed out Storm, Gen Zeros and the Hooligans.
Storm because he has LOST 6 IN A ROW AND NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE TOP 20 IF IT WASN’T FOR NOSTALGIA.
Gen Zero. Maybe hard done by because they are the champs, but no one fears them. Go and hurt someone. Badly. Then I’ll happily pop you back in the top 10.
The Hooligans… string two wins together, stay injury free and win the titles, then come talk to me.
Everyone else, whatever.
Disagree with me? Don’t care. My opinion carries more weight that the people that sit in the crowd and who have probably attempted a training camp but then quit coz exercise.
See you at the next show. I’ll be the guy who is better than you.
